Headhunters: When universes collide
by Kirabi Kaminari
Summary: What if there was another generation of spartan III's? What if Wyoming was sent to blood gulch? What if Tex found out? What if a spartan III was sent to spy on Freelancer? And what if Wyoming's time space distortion Malfunctions? and how the hell do they end up on remnant!
1. Here comes Feta

_Before The Time-Space Warp _

**WYOMING'S****POV, ABOARD THE MOTHER OF INVENTION**

"Agent Wyoming, please report to the bridge." Said the Counselors voice over _Mother of Inventions_ speaker system.

Wyoming gave out a sigh of discontent before promptly turning from his original destination, the shooting range, and making his way to the bridge. Walking down the darkened hallways, Wyoming thought '_What do these bloody tossers want now? can't a chap shoot some virtually created holograms in peace?' _this thought inevitably caused Wyoming to actually wonder what he was being called to the bridge for, _'If those bloody bastards actually want me to do ANOTHER mission at this time of night..lets just say I'll have to spend weeks cleaning my tea set.' _this thought caused Wyoming to begin to stomp hurriedly to his destination, dark thoughts dancing in his head the entire way.

**3RD PERSON POV**

The Counselor turned slightly from his position at the command console to the sounds coming from outside the door, only for it to open and reveal none other than the one he'd sent for, agent Wyoming. "Why Hello their Agent Wyoming we have another-" "Why the hell did you send for me you bloody wanker" said Wyoming, angrily cutting the Counselor off in the process. "Yes well we need you to head to the blood gulch outpost there seems to be injured troops that are in need of your….assistance" said the Counselor in his neutral tone. "Really I have to go help simulation troopers, I'd rather shove a crumpet up my arse."Wyoming said, simulation troopers? Really? What was the director _really _after? " I think you would enjoy this trip Agent Flowers is present in the canyon" said the counselor. Causing Wyoming's attitude to change a bit " Oh Flowers old boy? I had wondered what happened to him….but why in hell was he marked….KIA? Counselor…." Wyoming stated, trailing off. "There was an accident in Florida, The Director sent flowers on a top secret mission and-" "What kind of mission… to have a agent out for so long and hidden from us, I do wonder…" said Wyoming, not in the slightest convinced by the Counselors story. "That is not our concern right now you need to get to the blood gulch outpost and assist the Red team, We can talk after your mission if you would like Agent. " Fine fine fine, I'll go but don't think you can hide the truth from me counselor, we have lost a lot of "friends" here." Wyoming said unsatisfied, turning away from the Counselor and exiting through the door, sniper rifle on his back.

**H-454 Jay's POV, ABOARD THE MOTHER OF INVENTION's Hangar**

"We have lost a great many friends…, wait why is my microphone recording? Odd must of been bugged.." said the Counselor puzzled. " _Bugged, A high tech ship like this….fucking bugged, this cheeky whipped fucktard thinks a trillion credit ship is going to be fucking bugged…..glad I left this place, shame for all the fools who didn't_" thought Jay while spying on Wyoming using the ships computers from inside the Hangars. "Hey Feta get me all the information you can on Blood Gulch" said jay, causing the appearance of a bright yellow light manifesting itself into the form of a female recon Spartan.

_"_**Blood gulch? Isn't that one of the outposts with simulation troopers? What's wrong jay? Scared of some fake Spartans? **_"_ Oh hell no, tell you what Feta when I get there the first thing I see with my scope I'll break their head into two...how about that." said Jay annoyed by his A.I this caused the mini Spartan to hum thoughtfully, her glow illuminating their space in the cargo hold with a dull yellow. "**hmmmm, I dunno jay, all it takes is a little, tiny, insignificant mistake, and pop goes YOUR head.**_" _"You're worse than ravager you know…" said jay, _"__Can't believe I actually said that"_ Jay thought. Unphased by Jay's insult, the AI laughed, mockingly, before saying "**C'mon loser, you don't wanna miss Wyoming's ship, do you**_?_" "Oh fuck….welp time to jump prep, the propulsion unit" '**Be careful! You wouldn't wanna blast yourself into space, right?" **Feta said sadistically." yeah yeah yeah, lets just go kick some ass" Jay said as they rocketed through the air and landed on Wyoming's pelican. "Welp time to wait, gonna be a long trip….Oh and Feta if you fuck with my magnetic boots I'm putting you in a room with wash's emp generator"Jay threatened, getting a small shock in response. " Yep definitely a long trip…." says jay glimpsing into sleep.


	2. Oc Info

**AN: Hey guys Kirabi and BroWarrior here, with Chapter 4 released we have come to the conclusion we have no fucking Idea what you think of this story, So if you can leave a review or private message us at either of our accounts. Thanks for reading we hope you enjoy this story.**

* * *

><p><em>Spartans 3's Helo company Headhunters<em>

Name: Jay

Rank: 2nd lieutenant

Codename: _Skull_

Behavior: Sociopathic, Frequency in dark humor(somewhat has ended) remarked as the 3rd hyper lethal vector. Also seen as emotionless by his first squad. Also does not see himself as the dating type.

Gender: Male

Likes: Shotgun's, Kurki's , Explosions, His brother and sister Spartans

Dislikes: Elites, assholes and Ravager

Skill-Set: Close combat specialist, well versed in all weaponry, Both freelancer and spartan training including use freelancer tech :Propulsion unit( its basically a jump pack):

Armor:

Helmet: EVA-C (Visor Black)

Shoulders: Jump jets

Chest: Collar/Breacher

Wrist: Assault/Breacher

Utility: Tactical/soft case

Knee guard: FJ/Para

Color: Primary-Steel, Secondary-white

Name: Ravager

Rank: Staff sergeant

Codename: _Ra-vy_

Behavior: Ruthless, Sociopathic, Overly Enjoys killing, Wants to impress{Data Expunged}(seen as a dog without a leash)

Gender: Male

Likes: Swords, guns, and {Data Expunged}

Dislikes: Elites, Traitors, Jay

Skill-Set: trained in close combat(swords), also trained to use ECU (Electric channeling unit) to run electricity through his blades ,lacks in any other form of combat.

Armor:

Helmet: Hazop (Blue Visor)

Shoulders: Security

Chestpiece: HP/Parafoil-R

Wrist:UA/Buckler

Utility: Tactical/soft case

Knee Guard: FJ/Para

Color: Primary-White. Secondary-Blue.

Name: Cali

Rank: Major

Codename: _Eagle _(Given by the reds and blues, Mostly by caboose)

Behavior: Protective, caring (towards certain people), Motherly to the younger Spartans, but seems semi childish to the older Spartans.

Gender: Female

Likes: Sniper rifles, and {Data Expunged}

Dislikes: Automatic rifles, Finite ammunition, Death

Skill-Set: Trained Sniper/Tracker, Hacking/Engineering, use of cloaking and hologram unit

Armor:

Helmet: Air Assault (Visor Color: Gold)

Shoulders: Sniper

Chestpiece: Tactical Patrol

Wrist: Tactical Tac pad

Utility: Soft case

Knee Guard: GUNGNIR

Color: Primar-Sage Secondary-Gold

Name: Connor Wayden

Rank: Captain

Codename: _Striker_

Behavior: Intelligent, lower than average self-esteem, Enjoys all manners of weaponry,and isn't a good liar.

Gender: Male

Likes: Family, jokes, guns, Hammer's, food

Dislikes: Fighting friends, Killing, _brownies,_ people who kill without reason.

Skill-Set: Highly trained pilot, Close combat attacker, Weapons Specialist, Uses Deployable turrets.

Armor:

Helmet: JFO (VIsor Color: Gold)

Chestpiece: UA/Base security

Shoulders: UA/Multithread

Wrist: Tactical/UGBS

Utility: N/A

Knee Guards: GUNGNIR

Color Scheme: Primary-Brown Secondary-Maroon


	3. Fucking Reunion's

**WYOMING'S POV**

"_Bloody asteroids!" _Wyoming thought, hearing a large BANG come from the top of his pelican. "_After all, what the bloody hell else COULD it be? Hmmph sodding Director should have this place cleared of them, do something useful for once." _Wyoming thought, not having the highest opinion of his "benefactor" at the current point in time. A smile made itself known on Wyoming's, currently unmasked face, having taken off his helmet a few moments prior, time was an interesting thing. Several philosophers had made their opinion regarding it known , nearly all of them differing, yet agreeing on one thing in particular.

That time was immutable, unable to be changed no matter how hard a person tried.

The thought caused a laugh to join the aforementioned smile. "_What a ludicrous notion!" _Wyoming thought before casting his eyesight towards a particular piece, set down adjacent to his seat in the cockpit of the pelican. The piece of equipment being none other than a time space distortion unit. Normally the time loop distortion unit was the one that would be donned on his chest plate, which was currently on his person, however the director saw fit to have Wyoming put the time SPACE distortion unit through a test run. This brought a glimmer into Wyoming's onyx colored eyes "_A new toy to play with! And this one's detachable! Simply marvelous!" _Wyoming said, chuckling lightly as his gaze rested upon the piece of equipment for a final time before saying "Isn't it marvelous what you can do with a couple quintillion credits?"

**UNKNOWN POV**

"Are we sure that's him?" a strict, no-nonsense female voice asked, authority laden in her voice.

"It's got to be, I mean, who else do we know who's crazy enough to do something like that?" A much deeper, but slightly high pitched male voice answered. "Besides, with the tracking system on this thing we could find anyone even if they broke the sound barrier." the same voice explained.

"I don't care," an even deeper voice, with malice in its tone interjected "So long as we find him and skin his traitorous hide."

"Lock it up sergeant, even if it is him we can't charge after him we need to come up with a plan of attack that _abides _by UNSC regulations." the female voice stated returning to the conversation.

"Always gotta be careful dontcha boss?" the first male voice stated somewhat sarcastically.

"It's what's kept me alive." she answered Before the first voice could say anything else she continued "Here Land us over by those cliffs, there's an ideal cave system there we can use to oversee his movements from." the male voice replied "You got it boss...don't worry I'll protect you." "Protect me from what?" she questioned with amusement "Oh! umm s-sorry ma'am I was just...thinking out loud" He stated, embarrassment evident in his voice. "You should learn to keep your yap shut 'captain' how the hell did someone like you reach that rank anyway?" The other male voice said, "Ravager! you're out of line, shut your trap and get suited up, you too striker, move it!" The female voice stated with finality, frustration seeping in her voice. the first male voice sighed before saying "Yes ma'am Cali." before setting the special ops stealth pelican to auto pilot, getting them planet side.

**Meta'S POV**

"_Sigma I swear when I get control I'm ripping you out of my head"_ Maine thought in a rage. **"Oh i don't think you're in a position to do such a thing my puppet, since we lost theta do too your struggling i'll have Eta and Iota scramble what's left of your fragile little mind until you're a perfect puppet, as you should be. But before that I will have you watch your brother and sister agents die by your hand. **said sigma.** Now then my puppet we are hunting the last of my A.I brethren….Omega is near…**

**Jay'S POV**

"Finally I fucking hate flights, whelp since the Brit doesn't know I'm here might as well get to the cliffs" Said jay

**Moments later Jays POV**

_ "This is one pointless ass simulation…...why even fight here there's no point only reason he's here is because the other fucker's here and…...oh fuck…...Texas…" _Jay thought, surprised and a little scared for everyone's manhood. _ "wyoming, Texas...and the fuckers in the cave…" _Jay noted, seeing the last of the three through his scope. Jay, deciding he was done here, stood up from his overwatch position on top of the cliff...only to get run over by the meta driving what appeared to be a warthog, over the side of the cliff. Their inevitable crash landing bringing them into the center of the canyon

**Sarge'S POV**

Sarge-as he demanded to be called-was NOT having a good week. The first reason for his frustration being how he found out he couldn't kill Grif for lollygagging! Then there was how doughnut got shot by that damn blue in the tank! The only upside-not in his opinion-was that doughnut managed to survive! Not that it matters, doughnuts such a pansy that he can't fight due to his "bad condition". Sarge shook his head at what he was forced to do next, down a soldier-no matter how much of a wuss-he had to call command to get reinforcements. Only to find out that he needed to resort to one of those lousy freelancers! Oh he had heard about how good they were, they just rubbed him the wrong way. It was then that sarge found himself knocked back due to the force of an explosion. his eyes widening underneath his helmet, sarge jumped to his feet, grabbed his trusty shotgun and ran back into the base. " Those damned blues got WMD's everyone too your feet. Lopez get the jeep and load the damned thing with explosive rounds, Grif I want you to commence operation Meat-Shield if it's only for a minute or, in your case, five seconds it is your invaluable sacrifice that will win us the war, and Simmons I want you to get the rocket launcher and carry doughnut on your back we got no time for the wounded to fall back, now lets kill those damned blues once and for all!

**Church's POV**

**GOD**

**FUCKING**

**DAMMIT.**

Church had been having a pretty damn good week so far, Tucker wasn't bothering him as much- and though he _was_ spending more time with that rock of his, it didn't matter-Caboose was still an idiot but he was bothering Captain Flowers. All in all it was a very fuckin nice week for church with no idiots to bother him.

And then this shit happens. Who in the name of fuck would drive a warthog off a cliff into the middle of a canyon?! Oh church had seen what happened all right, with the scope of his sniper rifle, that he was in no way bad with no matter who you've talked to, however he didn't see who was driving. It was probably the reds, who else would? Besides them being the only living thing for miles, those guys were crazier than tex. Immediately regretting the thought, Church sighed, thinking about her always got him emotional. The most prevalent emotions being fear, rage, depression, and a little shame and regret. Church snapped himself out of it, bringing himself back to the present. He was here, sitting on his usual ledge, spying on the reds talking about the usual bullshit over and over again when BAM HUGE EXPLOSION OUT OF FREAKIN NOWHERE, I MEAN,WHO DOES THAT?! Thinking on his feet church bolted down the cliffside to the blue base to see what Captain Flowers would do. It was strange, Captain Flowers always seemed to know what was happening…

Again shaking himself out of his thoughts, church hightailed it to blue base.

**3rd person's POV Blue Base**

'_Oh gosh! What rambunctious noise was that? Oh my, hopefully Church is alright.' _Flowers thought, worried for his teammate. He was at blue base, casually chatting with Caboose, the little rascal, when all of a sudden he had heard the awful, yet familiar,noise of an explosion. He had sent poor, naive, caboose out to retrieve Tucker, not wanting to endanger him as well as Church.

That was about when he saw someone he hadn't seen in a very, very long time. "Texas! its been such a long time! I didn't know you were still with freelancers, I had thought you and most of the others had gone and went rogue" Said Flowers somewhat excited at the fact of another freelancer being here. "Cut the shit Florida! Where's Church and where's Wyoming! said Texas, aggravated at Flowers.

"Well Church is out by the cliffs and I don't know if wyoming is even here, though I did see a ship land by red base...you should have seen the rookie he nearly killed one of the reds!, Texas why are yo-" "I said Cut the shit! Maine is here and he's looking for me, Church and Feta and as far as I know 2 of which are here right now!" Texas interrupted, still aggravated.

It was then that the sound of more small explosion's , coupled with the shaking of the ground beneath their feet, both Texas's and Flower's attention was brought to the center of the canyon. " Is that Colorado?" said Texas dumbfounded that the freelancer was still alive. "Colorado?" asked Flowers, confused before realization hit him "Oh you mean Jay, well he's not wearing the armor from freelancer, but that fighting style and kukri…..plus the color scheme looks the same." Flowers said before chuckling "That old rascal! good to have him back in action, although I wonder why he's here.." said Flowers with curiosity" "Fuck no wonder Maine's here this fucker has Feta….well I bet Maine is taking on more than he bargained for" said Tex hoping Colorado(Jay) could take on or at least delay Maine for her to get church outta blood gulch. "Ok Flowers i want you to help Jay with Maine I'm going for wyoming, with his time unit he's the bigger threat right now." Tex said before bolting up the stairs, jumping over the edge of the base, and running over to red base through the canyon. "Well guess this really is a family reunion." Flowers said, not wanting to fight his Freelancer brothers.

**3rd person's Headhunter's POV **

"Haha look at the blue one get bitch slapped, OH FUCK HAHA LOOK AT THAT FUCKER FLY , This is one enjoyable fight! I got 40 credits on Jay kicking the Brit's ass!" Said Ravager, obviously enjoying the sight. " Well, since he isn't even fighting the Brit I'll take that bet." Striker said sarcastically. "How about you both shut the hell up, we need him alive remember? When we see the opportunity we go in, grab him and get out." Said Cali Her attention quickly diverting from the fight below to the two spartans under her command. They were currently at the entrance of the cave they had set up camp in, their position being so close to the center of the canyon they could watch the fight without the use of a scope. Cali sighed as the two begrudgingly agreed-well, more like Ravager did and Striker, Striker went with what she said no matter what-they were hard to deal with sometimes, but a spartan with nothing to do wasn't a happy one, so she could sympathies with them. It was then she was abruptly and quite literally pushed out of her thoughts as she was knocked back a bit from the force of an explosion. When she looked back to the fight there was nothing left but dust and debris covering that entire section of the canyon. Thinking quickly she looking over to striker and then to Ravager "Thermo-vision, NOW!" She yelled before quickly following her own orders.

**Red teams Pov moments before Massive explosion**

"Goddammit Grif you weren't supposed to hide behind our Base" said Sarge, Angry and frustrated at Grifs apparent idiocy. "Are you fucking crazy, no wait scratch that, you ARE fucking crazy, but I'm not so FUCK YOU! I'm staying here until I get my puma" said Grif not venturing even an inch from behind red base. "Sarge the _Warthog_ is ready Lopez went to get some more explosive rounds for it" Simmons said, stressing the word Warthog. "Finally! a soldier who brings results. You see Grif? We need more people like Lopez." Said Sarge, practically weeping at the promise of even more explosive ammunition, while simultaneously ignoring the now shocked and depressed Simmons " Come on Grif...we should go get the warthog now…" Said Simmons almost weeping. It was at that time, Lopez made his entrance driving the warthog at a fast speed, before abruptly turning at the edge of the base and driving in front of the group, Lopez looking at them expectantly. "Lopez, it's about time, Grif get in the driver's seat, Lopez man the gun, I'll be riding in the back feeding the rounds!" Said Sarge excited about the notion of using his explosive turret. "Um.. sarge" Simmons started "What about me?" Simmons asked, an ounce of pleading in his voice. " Well Simmons I want you to put donut on a leash and attach him to the back of the warthog, you'll also be riding shotgun"Sarge explained "Yessir!" Simmons said cheerily finally remembering the wounded, and groaning, final member of the group. "_Ooooh _Kinky_! _But...Can't I sit this one out? I still can't feel my legs..and not in the fun way.." Donut complained groggily. "No we need every man if we are going to fight this new blue threat, just look at that last explosion!" said sarge aggravated at Donuts Grifness, one was already enough, dammit. " And where's the freelancer command sent us" Said Sarge aggravated at a new possible man with the dreaded _Grifness_. "Sarge I saw him getting his ass whooped by some black guy, some help command sent us huh?" said Grif, Exasperated. "Argh! Fuck it! We'll go on without him, We've never needed a freelancer before and we don't need one now! Ok Grif! Start the engine I want you to ram the biggest new blue you see!" Sarge yelled "We are _so _going to die" said Grif. "Shut up Grif." Sarge said with finality. "Now let's see how many of these new blues we can kill!" Sarge yelled as they drove off to the site of the first explosions." 

**Middle of blood gulch With Jay and Maine, Before Massive Explosion**

"Come on mother fucker, at least try to hit me" Jay says while dodging another swipe from Meta's knifle, While getting another grunt from the Meta. "Listen you sociopathic fuck, I came here to do what I gotta do, plus break Wyoming's skull in two.…but thats just the added bonus, but hey Maine maybe you could tell me why you're kill-" Jay interrupted by another dodged swipe from the knifle, just barely dodging that one. "Like I was saying What's with killing the Freelancers, not like I'm against it bu-" Jay was cut off by machine gun fire almost hitting him. "Who the fuck..?" Jay yelled. The Meta gave some more grunts at the sound of... music? both turning too see the Reds charging them with a modified warthog "EAT IT BLUE SCUM YEEEEHHAAAAA" Sarge yelled victoriously. '...**This absolute idiot..Maine, be a dear and get rid of the rabble like a good puppet, would you?**'Sigma said inside The Meta's, armor. "Well since it looks like you're set on that ride I'm going to back away" Said jay as tried too use his propulsion unit to get closer to the red base, Only to be stopped by a sniper round, just hitting the side of his helmet, causing him to hit the ground. " Mother Fucker!" Jay yelled quickly looking for the sniper only for him to appear 10 feet to his side "You didn't _actually_ believe I didn't know you were here, did you old chap? Or should I say... Colorado?" said Wyoming, a still smoking sniper rifle in his hand, his other on his hip. "Oh fuck you Reggie…..Wait..what's the meta doing with the reds?" said Jay looking over at the reds jeep" " Is that jeep leaking fuel?" said Wyoming "And are those ...Oh FUCK HIT THE DECK!" Yelled Jay as the Meta, either not knowing about the fuel leak coupled with the explosives, or not caring, Shot a continuous stream of bullets from his knifle at the jeep, what happened next, was inevitable.

_**BRAKA-BOOOOOOOOM **_

"Ugh Sarge….SARGE!"


	4. Cookies n Popcorn

**AN:Hey guys Kirabi and BroWarrior here, leave a review or private message us at either of our accounts. Thanks for reading we hope you enjoy this story.**

* * *

><p><strong>Blue side of canyon:<strong>

"HOLY Fucking Shit! and _that_ caboose, is exactly how church is going to react to this explosion." tucker said, before silently awaiting for the inevitable. "But Tucker.. I.. feel like church would-" said caboose.

"HOLY Fucking Shit!..." screamed church, fulfilling the prophecy and cutting Caboose off at the same time, on the other side of the canyon. Tucker simply looked at Caboose , his body taking on the masterfully perfected stance of '_I told you so', _Meanwhile Caboose, whom had seemingly lost interest in the entire conversation, was shouting at the top of his lungs "CHURCH! HEY TUCKER, TUCKER IT'S CHURCH HIIIIII CHURCH!" shooting a hand up and waving it spastically as he was saying the last part, Church himself, however, was not experiencing the same glee as his teammate. This was proven by Church replying "ROOKIE! SHUT. UP. AND GET THEGODDAMN TANK!YOU TOO TUCKER!" Caboose then said" Okie Dokie!" to which Tucker whipped around at Caboose" What?! You're seriously going to jus-you know what? Never mind." Tucker said, exasperation seeping into his voice near the end. Instead he simply followed Caboose, downtrodden at the thought of getting shot at, towards the Tank. It was to Tuckers utmost confusion when Caboose stopped him and got in the Tank by himself. "Umm..Dude? You know we're supposed to do this together right?" Tucker asked, both confused and honestly curious if Caboose had any fucking clue what he was doing. The response Tucker got was not one he was expecting. With no words, Caboose simply turned his head towards Tucker, and, very seriously, stated "Sheila is **mine." **before driving off in the tank, leaving behind a now extremely confused Tucker. "Sheila..?"Tucker said, before realization dawned on him" Oh shit! He really DID get chicks in that tank!" What ensued after was silence before Tucker took off at full speed after Caboose, screaming" CABOOSE! WAIT UP! DOES SHEILA HAVE ANY HOT SISTERS?! MAYBE SOME CUTE FRIENDS?!"

**Middle-of-fucking-canyon **

"Well...that was some explosion eh Reggie?" Jay said, still shaky from the reds explosion. "It sure was something old chap, d'you reckon Maine survived?" asked Wyoming somewhat concerned for his former teammate something had always struck him off about Maine..granted he was insane, but still. "Please, this is MAINE we are talking about, he can take as much punishment as a Spartan."Jay said, dismissing the idea of Maine dying. "…..Hey look over there!" Jay stated pointing at the fully A-okay Maine, who was currently busy glaring at the fallen reds "See? He's all good and back in action, but I wonder if this canyons blues are just as crazy as the reds." said jay wondering what card would be played next. "Dear god I hope not." Wyoming muttered not looking forward to see anything filled with more idiocy then these reds.

**Blue tank near the freelancers location**

"CHURCH, CHURCH CHURCHCHURCHCHURCHCHURCH WHICH ONE SHOULD SHEILA SHOOOOOT!?" Caboose asked, his voice sounding more and more like a twelve year old who needs to pee with every second. "DAMMIT ROOKIE! SHUT UP! Can't you tell who the bad guys are?!" Church shouted before realizing Cabooses brain lacked the power to charge the battery of a digital watch. Contemplating on the problem of Cabooses trigger finger and lack of friend or foe differentiating capabilities, he finally hit an epiphany. Quickly returning to the proper comm channel, church said" Caboose! The one's in black and the one's in white _HATE COOKIES_." Before this moment, church had never considered himself a creator of monsters. However Everyone involved would soon learn the folly in his hubris. For it was on this day, that the Gods themselves realized that none would be safe. To Churches Declaration, Caboose roared at the top of his lungs "_PUNISH THE NON-BELIEVERS!"_

**Middle of canyon with freelancers**

"Did ya'll hear that?" Said Jay wondering who would be yelling. "D'you think its them blue blokes?" Said Wyoming, wondering what they were up to now. " well flowers was one of them so they gotta be decent right...?" Uncertainty creeping at the edge of his voice, It WAS Flowers after all..."Perhaps but he wasn't that good of a fighter…..and wait, isn't he unconscious over there?" Said Wyoming peering over to the fallen blue. "Oh right, I forgot, he tried to help me fight Maine…...as you see it didn't go so well for him." Said Jay remembering the fallen freelancer. "Wait where's Maine?" Jay says as they here more yelling from the blue base. "Jay, is that a tank?"asked Wyoming hoping his ears were fooling him, honestly wondering why he wasn't killing Jay right now. "Well fuck the tank, I'm sure Maine's got it under contr-" Jay stated before being interrupted by the VERY loud sound of someone screaming. "Hey Reggie got any popcorn?" Jay said thinking about getting out of the ensuing fight. "Sorry old chap no….. but why aren't we fighting?" Wyoming asked hoping for an actual answer. "Because…I think….ah fuck it, I think we're just hoping for someone else to kick Maine's ass." Said Jay praying to whatever Gods are out there for Maine's ass to get whooped. It was then both their prayers were answered...sort of...by the bloodthirsty yell coming from said tank. "Hey Reggie lets go hide in red base!" Jay said "Pfft, Why? If Flowers was their leader aren't they on our side?" Said Wyoming looking for someone else too talk too, Jay sucked as a conversationalist. "Listen I've heard scream's like that before back during my UNSC days...trust me every living thing in this canyon is about to be fucked over ". Said Jay fearing for his life. "I'm sure we'll be fine, they're just sim soldiers after all, right?" Said Wyoming doubting the blues capabilities. "Reggie…. Tex and Flowers were with them, and you have seen what the reds can and will do, plus the fuckers have a tank, I'm certain we…...um hi there tank…" Jay said as both himself and Wyoming turned towards the blue tank that sneaked up on them..somehow. "Quiet ass tank.."Jay commented. "ARE YOU COOKIE HATERS?!"Yelled the man in the tank. "Um…" Jay started, perplexed "I like cookies…but you see-" Said Jay being interrupted. "LIAR'S! CHURCH TOLD ME YOU ARE COOKIE HATERS! AND CHURCH WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME!" Screamed the man as he aimed the main cannon at Wyoming. "Reggie we...are fucked!" Jay said with finality, simply waiting for the inevitable.

**Over watch with church**

Meanwhile, above the freelancers at his usual ledge was Church himself. Church liked to believe he always came prepared, his evidence being the popcorn bowl right next to him. "This is amazing, Rookie's being useful for once!" Church stated before chuckling to himself, this ended, however, when he reached for his bowl only to find it missing. "What the he-? TUCKER!" Church said, resolving to find Tucker and try NOT to kill him before he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. "Looking for something Church?" a VERY VERY familiar, and female voice asked playfully. "You know, I've been tearing this entire land mass apart trying to find you." Tex said dropping the now empty popcorn bowl down in front of church, who could now care less about said object. "Tex?... Shit." Church cursed, his frustration being traded for despair. Sighing, Church asked "What do you want?" Tex then turned him to face her, rewarding him with a view of her black armor, before shifting his gaze to her visor. Chuckling Tex replied "You know me so well, get your dog off Wyoming and Jay." To Tex's surprise Church just stared at her for a second and laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Before Tex could take her newfound rage out on Church's manhood he said "You want ME to stop CABOOSE?! You obviously haven't met him, once he's mad at someone who hates cookies there's nothing you can do to stop him!" This actually caused Tex to pause and contemplate. She knew very well that Church could be lying to her, but on the other hand she also knew he was scared as hell of her. After a while and reaching a decision on how to approach the matter, she replied "..Then sic him on every cockbite in that canyon, I'm getting you out of this canyon, one way, or another." Churches reply was immediate "What?! OK that's bullshit and my answer is no for two fucking reasons, one, Tucker's still down there and as much of an asshole as he is I don't want him to die, second, WHY THE HELLshould I trust you?!" Church screamed, anger and fear very prevalent in his voice."Well if you don't I'm sure Maine would love to kick your ass once he gets his hands on you." Said Tex hoping to get church out of the canyon. " Huh, one of your freelancer buddies?" said church "I wouldn't say he's a buddy but-" said Tex being interrupted by church, who had taken out his sniper rifle and began to look down the scope. "He's the big white one right?" church repeated not giving a damn "I think caboose smashed him into that rock by red base…..well fuck." Said church obviously phased by, yet accepting of, cabooses action. "Wait...he took out Maine?" Said Tex surprised. " Huh? No, the big ones getting out now, but it looks like caboose is talking with the other two." said church "Um Church I got a bad feeling about this.." said Tex not looking forward to this.

**AT The Tank**

"So blue guy mind...if we ugh go over there and not get shot" said Jay hoping to play the blues stupid card. "Yes, yes, indeed, what he said!" Wyoming responded out of fear. "NO CHURCH WOULD NEVER LIE he is my friend, and friends never lie and I think you are cookie haters and maybe Sheila should blow you up!" said caboose from inside the tank "_Preparing main canon" _Sheila announced inside the tank. "Reggie please tell me your time warp thingy can get us out of this..!" Said Jay whispering urgently "Sorry old chap but it's still recharging after I locked Tex in a loop back at red base, although I think she's out..!" Whispered Wyoming panicking. "Ok Reggie I think we should-" Said Jay, deciding suddenly not to whisper, being interrupted by the of the tank shooting Wyoming...in the face. "REGGIE!" Shouted jay before turning towards the tank. _"Shit! we've got an idiot with a tank who just shot Reggie, and..may have taken Maine out...I am SO FUCKED!" _Jay thought, not expecting a reply. "**Oh Jay maybe now's the time to do something?" **Came Feta's inevitable sarcasm, to which Jay's response was immediate. "Fuck off, and guide my 'nade." Jay stated with finality as he returned his attention to the idiot driving a tank, which was now rolling towards him at a high speed.

Thinking quickly, Jay activated his propulsion pack on its lowest setting while preparing the grenade, and used the momentum of his 'small' jump to slide under the tanks cannon, however not before chucking the grenade directly into the main cannon of the tank and landing on the hatch of the driver's seat, an explosion resounded and effectively disabled the tanks Cannon. "Now that wasn't too hard, wasn't it Fet-"Jay said being interrupted by the driver below him. "Sheila..? You..hurt..Sheila... R!" Roared Caboose. It was then, without warning, Caboose let loose a war cry and headbutted the hatch door off causing it to go flying, Jay along with it. With a grunt of pain Jay hit the ground. Hard. "Well…..I'm fucked." Jay said, exasperation, and pain, settling itself within him. "Not yet old chap." Responded Wyoming appearing out of nowhere. "So I'm assuming the time space thing worked egh?" Jay said, too much in pain to give a damn. "Well yes, yes it did." Wyoming said neutrally, somewhat hurt by the lack of enthusiasm at his grand appearance. "It looks like that blue bloke gave you some trouble, eh?"Wyoming stated, amusement, and suddenly fear entering his voice. "Yeah…...he's running this way, isn't he?" said Jay still not giving a damn. "Yup..Well on a scale of one to ten how fucked are we old chap?" "Do you really wanna know?" Jay said getting a nod from Wyoming "Well I'd give it an 11 and a half." Jay stated getting off the ground right before a furious blue soldier charged them, slamming into both of them with the force of ten semi-trucks. Wyoming had been thrown back and caboose grabbed Jay by the neck and raised him off the ground. "Any last words cookie hater!" roared caboose at the Spartan "Yeah….fuck" the barely audible Jay said as a new found Maine tackled both him and caboose causing Jay to fly from Cabooses grasp and into Maine's, who then promptly threw him at a wall of rock. Maine then settled his attention on what was obviously the greater threat, and that happened to be the righteous cookie warrior, Caboose.

**Away ** **From The Battle**

"Ugh….Christ" The beaten Jay said as he wondered what he was on top of, whatever it was, it was uncomfortable as hell. "Old chap…..mind getting off of me" said a beaten Wyoming, with jay rolling to the side. "Wait that's a jeep, or it was,... so this was where the reds were." said Jay wondering if the reds survived "Indeed, and it looks like The Re-" Wyoming was rudely cut off, something that seemed to be happening quite a lot in this canyon. "Hey guys!" a newly arrived and apparently not dead Captain Flowers greeted, startling his fellow freelancers. "Flowers old boy! You're alive! And...wait...were you PRETENDING to be dead this entire time we've been getting our arses handed to us on a silver platter served with biscuits and tea?!" Ranted a now somewhat angered Wyoming, to which Flowers replied "...maaaybe." before Wyoming could respond, he was stopped by Jay. Again. "Since this is yet another family fucking reunion, I'm just going to say…..he finally got power armor….congrat-cha-fucking-lations, but I bet it still can't stop a bullet right?" Jay said sarcastically, still bitter from getting his ass handed to him by a moron over cookies. "Aww you know I try my best guys.." said a now crestfallen Flowers, He was so proud to get to wear the armor again too…"Hey cheeky fucks, since we're already by the reds, might as well see if they still have some explosives."Jay said, thinking the reds still had some spare explosives. Wyoming and Flowers responded by crawling over to the reds crash, ever so stealthily. "I hope they have something Anti-Maine." said Flowers thinking about the beat down he had. Jays response to Flower's stupidity was immediate "Then they better have a fucking nuke."

**Headhunters in The Caves**

"Wait why are they crawling over there?" Ravager asked, confused. "Well that jeep did make quite the explosion I bet they're looking for something to drop on that blue freak-o-nature's head." Striker explained. "Hm. speaking of, look at them go at it! Who knew the blue idiot could take on the white fucker like that?!" An excited Ravager yelled "I know right?...Damn we need some popcorn or something..you think the blue guys have any at their base?" An equally excited, yet unsatisfied, Striker agreed. "Na, the way the fucker is screaming cookies…..but man I haven't had a cookie since basic.." Said a now hungry Ravager. It was at that moment their Boss decided to show up. "Hey guy's I'm back from scouting the blues base, and...What the hell are you two doing?" Cali demanded angrily. "Nothing much, just watching two idiots fight and destroy everything around them." Ravager explained, too into the fight to give a fuck. "Speaking of didja find any popcorn at blue base?" Striker asked, occupied with the same thing as Ravager. "Ummm...No." Cali said, quickly hiding a bag behind her. Finders Keepers. "Hey what's up with their armor, it looks like Spartan two grade, but only two of these fucker fight like em." Ravager asked, attention finally focused on Cali yet none the wiser to the bag behind her. Before she could respond however, Striker answered "Well it was Spartan two armor. Project Freelancer took fallen Spartan's armor and then changed it so anyone could wear it, this is one of their training outpost." He explained, looking up to see his teammates staring at him. "Striker.." Cali began carefully "How do you know all this?" She finished, gazing steadily at him. Ravager nodded in agreement "Yeah, what's up with that?"Ravager chipped in, earning a flustered response from Striker. "Um well, ugh, before Jay left he told me, ugh….what he was doing…..and ugh…..he told me about this stuff." To which Ravager responded. "You knew where he was going this entire time. We've been tracking him for a YEAR STRIKER!" Ravager stated in rage, actually grabbing striker by his neck and slamming him against the rock wall. Cali immediately got a hold of ravagers arm, looking him in the visor. Thus prompting him to-very hesitantly- drop Striker to the ground. Causing striker to start coughing. "Striker start talking. How long have you known, and why haven't you told us ?" Cali asked in a patient-but limited-tone of voice. "Well, ugh I figured it wasn't too important since you know, we were tracking him and we did find him….so..you know.." Striker explained nervously, prompting Ravager to shake his head holding a hand to his helmet. "How the hell you made it to captain is beyond me.." He muttered somewhat under his breath. "How the hell _any_ of you fuckers are still standing is beyond me." a female voice added sarcastically, causing all the headhunters to look up to see a woman in black armor.


End file.
